One thing we don’t often learn when we’re being taught about values systems is: the Golden Rule (“Treat others the way you’d like to be treated”) does indeed apply to threesome, foursomes, and moresomes. As someone who has been approached for group sex experiences yourself, what did you or did you not like about the way the people did it? This method (we could call it the Custom Tailoring Method), which involves taking what you’ve seen others’ do and editing it to suit yourself, is one way you could go about this.

Another way to go about this is to not give into the temptation to glamorize a sexual experience that involves more than two people to the point of distorting the reality that… they’re just a person/people that you want to have sex with. Meaning, you could just approach your potential additional sexytime friends in the same way you might approach a single person you’d like to have sex with as a single person. This method (we could call it the Same/Same But Different Method) might start with asking yourself the question “How do I usually go about asking someone to have sex with me?”

To be fair, this can certainly be an awkward task, no matter how many people you’re inviting to Ye Olde Bone Zone. But it can be helpful to start with what’s familiar to you in your typical dating/sex-seeking repertoire: Do you prefer using dating apps? Asking people out IRL (in real life) who you feel like you click with? Asking a friend for some inside info about a mutual friend’s availability? These same avenues can also work with proposing group sex to another person.

The trick is to remember that at its most basic, you’re asking someone if they’d like to do something with you and they have the option to freely say “Yes,” “No,” or “Maybe” to your invitation…continue reading…