Hey, Yana,
I’m a queer lady in my mid-20s and I’ve been with my boyfriend for about four years now. We’ve got an awesome hot and freaky sex life and we’re on the brink of our very first threesome with another girl. We’re both really excited that this is happening, but we’re wondering about threesome etiquette. How do we get things started? How do you be a good threesome host? What are some rules we should set?
— Threeway Nookie Rookie
Hi TWNR,
Plans well-laid will get all three of you well laid! So, I’m glad to see that y’all are thinking about how to make your threesome safe and intentional rather than letting it occur willy-nilly, “by accident,” or in an otherwise alcohol-fueled happenstance manner. (Tip 1: Ditch the drinks.)
As an established couple, you’ve got some hosting responsibilities. First, have a frank talk with your boyfriend about boundaries and agreements. Remember, these can change and grow as you both evolve in your three-way practice — if it continues — so don’t widen your scope more than feels comfortable. As fellow sex educator Dawn Serra says, “It’s better to leave everyone wanting more than regretting that they didn’t do less.”
Some boundaries to consider: Penetrative sex acts tend to be precious between partners. Who can get penetrated by whom and where?
Safer sex agreements: Who’s on birth control? Do you have a truckload of condoms/gloves/dams so you can change them as many times as sex acts and partner-pairings change?
Sleepovers?
Encores?
Is this a one-time thing or are you open to more sex with this particular person? … continue reading…
