This week I was feeling split about what kind of advice to give to a reader about her boyfriend’s hesitancy to go down on her. So I called in the big feyonce guns to lend me a dude’s opinion.
Find Patrick’s advice here and my boring old advice in this week’s column (posted below) and in the back page of The Valley Advocate as always.
The V-Spot: My Boyfriend Won’t Lick My Sundae
I’ve been seeing a wonderful man for about a year and a half and I feel like I’ve finally found someone I could spend the rest of my life with.
Here’s the problem: He isn’t a very sexual person and won’t perform oral sex on me. He says he never has on any of his previous girlfriends and they never asked for it.
He says he’s actually sickened by going down there orally.
I’m clean, healthy, well-groomed and a very sexual person. I go down on him all the time and enjoy it. He feels bad that he can’t do this for me and I feel bad asking him to do something that makes him feel gross.
We have very traditional sex and it’s satisfying — we both come — but I always want more. I’ve begged him for anal and he tried it and didn’t like it.
In the past I’ve had great sex with jerks I want no future with. And then I have boring sex with nice people who want long-term. I don’t want to throw away our relationship because of one thing, but I’m afraid I’ll end up resenting him. He’s against an open relationship. Any advice?
I’d be split about this lackluster labia-licking situation if I were you, too. In fact, without being able to sit and talk to you both, I’ve been pretty lickety split about how to advise you.
I want to tell you to stop eating his banana split if he won’t eat your sundae.
On the flip side, I hate yogurt. This isn’t a sexual metaphor — I seriously despise yogurt. I gag at the sight of it. If my boyfriend told me that my eating yogurt was the only way he would feel sexually fulfilled, I know I couldn’t do it. Continue reading…