post

Do Your Kegels!

Hi Yana,

I’m a young undergraduate student and yet I’ve been having issues with bladder control. I’ve been wanting to explore doing more Kegels and have heard of these kegel balls you can get. Do you know anything about that? I want to get a good brand/the right material because, obviously, it’s going in my vagina.

— Kegel Kid

Hi KK,

I’m sorry to hear that your bladder isn’t doing what you need it to do — that sounds really frustrating.

First thing is to get checked out at your doctor. Struggling with bladder control at your age is unusual and deserves some attention.

Secondly, many people unfamiliar with the experience of G-spot ejaculation can confuse vajaculation with pee and/or bladder problems. The G-spot’s close location to the urethra can easily confuse our bodies and brains, telling us that we are actually peeing rather than releasing vaginal ejaculate.

If your bladder issues arise consistently during sex, it might be worth doing a little research about the G-spot (my old columns and website have plenty of information on this topic). If you’re having bladder issues in other everyday ways, then return to step one: visit your doctor.

“Doing your Kegels” is a drive-by piece of advice that became really popular a handful of years ago (I’m tempted to blame an episode of Sex and the City). It’s also the piece of advice I give out the most that leaves the phrase “practice what you preach” ringing in my ears the loudest. It’s something we all can/should do more — no matter our gender or genitalia.

Kegel exercises (named after yet another modest doctor who discovered them) work out your pubococcygeus (PC) muscles, which stretch along your pelvic floor and contract during that little thing called an orgasm. The easiest — but maybe not the sexiest — way to locate them is to stop your urine-stream while peeing. The muscles you use to do this are your PC muscles and interrupting your stream may be considered a Kegel exercise. Once you’ve mastered how to contract them, you can practice in places other than the pot — just make sure you’re actually flexing your PCs and not simply clenching your butt cheeks…continue reading…

post

Couple Seeking Toyfriend

Straight guy here in a monogamous relationship. We’re looking to add some toys to our routine and would love to hear your opinions and suggestions on items that we could use together. We’ve been eyeballing the Oden 2 from Lelo [a vibrating, rechargeable, remote-controlled cockring priced around $180], but have no idea if it’s worth the investment. Maybe there are simpler, more cost-effective ways to start?

If I had a dime for every question I got about “couples’ toys”, I’d be able to buy you 100 Oden 2s from Lelo. I wouldn’t though, because it would probably be a waste of my money, but we’ll get to that in a minute. I totally get it: Trying to find a sex toy that physically pleases everyone simultaneously is worth searching for. The efficiency! The cost-effectiveness! The false reassurance that everyone’s needs are getting met!

When people say “couples’ toys” what they tend to mean is a toy that is actively stimulating both partners during sex and by “both” partners we tend to mean one woman and one man and by “during sex” we tend to mean penis-in-vagina. Really though, all sex toys have the ability to be “couples’ toys” based on the basic concept that being present while your partner gets his or her rocks off is also sexually pleasing to you.

Looking at it this way, CST, your options are wide open for your new couples’ toy…continue reading…