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I’m seeking out dating websites that have individuals who are thoughtful and open to trying or having more casual sex, but also respect boundaries in sexual exploration. I don’t trust Craigslist, and I’m not really into OKCupid or Tinder.

I would love some guidance as to finding nice people who are, to use a term that was in a recent article of yours, DTF (Down to Fuck), but have that FFR (Feelings For Real) deal going on as well, and who believe in the importance of communication.

Since writing the column you refer to “Can I Be DTF and Still Respect Myself?” (Dec. 10, 2015) I’ve been thinking about this Tinderiffic tightrope millennials teeter on between casual sex for sex’s sake and the acknowledgement of feelings.

In “Can I Be DTF?” I encouraged the question-writer to continue to take pride in her pleasure-positive sex life while eschewing the idea that one must be void of all feelings in order to truly be DTF. In the end, I concluded that one can be both DTF and experience (and express!) FFR (Feelings for Real) simultaneously, but I continue to wonder how this can be incorporated into “Slutever Forever” sexual culture.

I’ve found one thing to be true of all sexual interactions: everything exists on a spectrum. Even in the case of DTF versus FFR. Does casual sex need to be no-strings attached? Can there be like one or two strings? Can our strings exist on a spectrum, too?…continue reading…