What do you do when a DTR conversation doesn’t go your way? I’m a modern babe who’s Slutever Forever. I’m into my generation’s DTF hook-up culture, but I also want to respect my boundaries, my body, and my feelings. What do you do when you tell the guy you’ve been casually hooking up with that you actually want to date him and he’s like, “Cool, but I just want to park my dick in you for a while”? How can I respect and take care of myself and still be DTF?
Let’s first define some terms for those of us over 25:
DTR: Defining the Relationship. A talk casual hook-up partners eventually have in which they discuss how to define their relationship — for example, as “fuck buddies,” “dating,” etc.
Slutever Forever: A sex-positive term viewing “slutiness” as the free enjoyment of sex and sexual pleasure, a variation on “Whatever Forever” connoting a certain casual attitude.
DTF: Down to Fuck. Describing a temporary or longer-term state of seeking out, typically, casual sex with limited strings attached (see Slutever Forever).
I, too, appreciate this modern world where sex is readily available with a swipe on a dating app, where friends can celebrate casual, mutual orgasm with a sticky high-five, and all of our relational processes can be defined with texting-friendly abbreviations. But sometimes I fear that out with the stuffy, sexually stifling bathwater we’ve thrown the real, vulnerable, human-connection baby. Must intimacy, feelings, and attachments be pushed aside to make space to celebrate casual sex?…continue reading…
