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Is There Life After the ‘Magic Wand’?

Hi Yana,

My wife loves her [Hitachi] Magic Wand I got her. I’d like something else to use together. I have been looking at the [NJoy] Pure Wand or [a vibrator] by JimmyJane.

From some of the reviews I’ve read about the Pure Wand, it seems like this could possibly be a very wet adventure. Do you find this to be true in most cases? She has vaginally ejaculated on her own a few times with the Magic Wand, but we have yet to replicate this together. Any tips on using the Pure Wand? I’d love to be able to give her the wildest orgasm she’s had!

— Best Husband Ever

Dear BHE,

Lately I’ve been asking myself: Is there life after the rechargeable, wireless (formerly branded as Hitachi) Magic Wand?

I’ve spent my entire sex educator career avoiding absolutes. I’ll never call anything the best or the worst sex toy, sex position, or sex tip. Sex, sexuality, pleasure, and the human sexual experience are all way too fluid, varied, and unique to be setting ourselves up like that. I talk about things in some/many/most frames: some people vaginally ejaculate, many people get yeast infections from using lube with glycerin in it, most clitoral orgasms are achieved via direct, consistent stimulation rather than via vaginally penetrative sex.

For the majority of my sex-having life I’ve been a walking example of this some/many/most rule; I never liked using vibrators on my own clitoris. I write about vibrators constantly, have taken countless for test-drives, but I just never liked using them in my personal sex life.

And then came the rechargeable, wireless Magic Wand. And then came I. A bunch.

For people like myself and your girlfriend it’s hard to diversify when this latest, improved, multi-speed, pulsation-pattern-packed version of the classic Magic Wand (MW) is just sitting at your bedside, blinking its little green charged light like “Use me. Use me. Use me.”…continue reading…

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Fretting Over My First Vibrator

Hey Yana,

I would like to buy either a dildo or vibrator for me but I have no experience on what to buy in terms of brand or what type for my first sex toy. What would you suggest to be the best sex toy to purchase to start with?

— Fretting Over My First Vibrator Dear FOFV,

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: You’ll never find a vibrator that everyone loves. Your vagina, your clitoris and your turn-ons are all as unique as tiny little X-rated snowflakes. So, though I wish I could just give you the name of The One, I can’t; you and your dirty bits are the only ones with the power to do that. But I can send you in the right direction.

First, a sex nerd moment: Though these terms are often used interchangeably, a dildo is intended for penetration only and usually resembles a flesh-and-blood penis or a candy-colored version of something like it. A vibrator is intended primarily for external, clitoral stimulation. What makes this confusing is that sometimes dildos come with little bullet vibrators lodged in the base to add a subtle buzz. More confusing-making is that vibrators come in many shapes, from little metallic bullets to slender plastic wands, as well as insertable silicone shapes that look an awful lot like dildos, indeed.

Dildo or vibrator — it’s up to you which one you want. But what I’m assuming you want and recommending you get is a vibrator that gives you the option to penetrate. This brings us to our first rule of first-time-toys: Variety, variety, variety. Get a vibrator with multiple speeds and, if you can swing it, multiple pulsation patterns so you can experiment with what works for you — fast, slow, pulsing, consistent, with penetration, or without. As we’ve established, one size never fits all when it comes to sex so it’s important to get a toy that lets you customize…continue reading…