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Is There Life After the ‘Magic Wand’?

Hi Yana,

My wife loves her [Hitachi] Magic Wand I got her. I’d like something else to use together. I have been looking at the [NJoy] Pure Wand or [a vibrator] by JimmyJane.

From some of the reviews I’ve read about the Pure Wand, it seems like this could possibly be a very wet adventure. Do you find this to be true in most cases? She has vaginally ejaculated on her own a few times with the Magic Wand, but we have yet to replicate this together. Any tips on using the Pure Wand? I’d love to be able to give her the wildest orgasm she’s had!

— Best Husband Ever

Dear BHE,

Lately I’ve been asking myself: Is there life after the rechargeable, wireless (formerly branded as Hitachi) Magic Wand?

I’ve spent my entire sex educator career avoiding absolutes. I’ll never call anything the best or the worst sex toy, sex position, or sex tip. Sex, sexuality, pleasure, and the human sexual experience are all way too fluid, varied, and unique to be setting ourselves up like that. I talk about things in some/many/most frames: some people vaginally ejaculate, many people get yeast infections from using lube with glycerin in it, most clitoral orgasms are achieved via direct, consistent stimulation rather than via vaginally penetrative sex.

For the majority of my sex-having life I’ve been a walking example of this some/many/most rule; I never liked using vibrators on my own clitoris. I write about vibrators constantly, have taken countless for test-drives, but I just never liked using them in my personal sex life.

And then came the rechargeable, wireless Magic Wand. And then came I. A bunch.

For people like myself and your girlfriend it’s hard to diversify when this latest, improved, multi-speed, pulsation-pattern-packed version of the classic Magic Wand (MW) is just sitting at your bedside, blinking its little green charged light like “Use me. Use me. Use me.”…continue reading…

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Couple Seeking Toyfriend

Straight guy here in a monogamous relationship. We’re looking to add some toys to our routine and would love to hear your opinions and suggestions on items that we could use together. We’ve been eyeballing the Oden 2 from Lelo [a vibrating, rechargeable, remote-controlled cockring priced around $180], but have no idea if it’s worth the investment. Maybe there are simpler, more cost-effective ways to start?

If I had a dime for every question I got about “couples’ toys”, I’d be able to buy you 100 Oden 2s from Lelo. I wouldn’t though, because it would probably be a waste of my money, but we’ll get to that in a minute. I totally get it: Trying to find a sex toy that physically pleases everyone simultaneously is worth searching for. The efficiency! The cost-effectiveness! The false reassurance that everyone’s needs are getting met!

When people say “couples’ toys” what they tend to mean is a toy that is actively stimulating both partners during sex and by “both” partners we tend to mean one woman and one man and by “during sex” we tend to mean penis-in-vagina. Really though, all sex toys have the ability to be “couples’ toys” based on the basic concept that being present while your partner gets his or her rocks off is also sexually pleasing to you.

Looking at it this way, CST, your options are wide open for your new couples’ toy…continue reading…

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The V-Spot: Unplug to Buttplug

Hi Yana!

My partner and I both really like butt plugs. We have the “Little Flirt” [a small, silicone butt plug made by Tantus] that we ordered online to experiment with. A friend of ours suggested the Njoy Pure plugs [made of stainless steel and available in a variety of sizes] and they look great!

We want to get one for each of us, but trying to figure out what 25mm difference in radius would feel like from a website’s picture online is like trying to figure out the real feel of weather in Celsius.

Sometimes the Little Flirt comes out during play and we’re worried that the smallest Njoy Plug doing the same. So, should we buy larger?

When it was a $15 toy it was no big deal to just order it online and find out in the mail, but these toys are expensive! Is there a good way to order toys online or is it really just best to find a good shop that you can go to in person? Thanks!

Hi OSM!

I always recommend shopping for sex toys IRL to get a real sense of sizing, material, and feel of your soon-to-be sex toy. Moreso, female-friendly, brick-and-mortar stores that boast well-trained sex educators are well-worth the extra time and money spent as they can offer customized advice, considerations, and sex toy education unavailable on the Internet.

This can be geographically or financially difficult for many. If you can’t unplug from the Internet to buy your butt plug and you’re (rightfully) skeptical about size, take the website’s measurements of the toy and compare it either to a toy you have at home or 1-3 of your fingers, noting that firmer toy materials (like the stainless steel Njoys) have less give and therefore will feel bigger inside of your body/booty.

Do read reviews about quality but don’t solely depend on reviews about quantity: everyone is different and one person’s mindblowing multiorgasmic experience with a particular sex toy doesn’t mean you’ll be similarly exploding. Instead, buy based on material, shape, vendor and pleasure principles…continue reading…