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After the O’s: Anal Aftercare

Yana Tallon-Hicks

My sexpertise for b-Vibe 

 

What is Anal Aftercare?

Aftercare — the intentional care-taking of a sexual partner after sex, typically by the penetrating, partner on behalf of the receiver — thanks our partners for sharing themselves with us and reminds them that our concern for their pleasure and well-being doesn’t stop with the orgasms.

Though aftercare has been championed by the kink community, all sex involves an exchange of power. And anal sex, especially so. Anal pleasure has long been rooted in shame and taboo. This makes anal sex extremely hot, but also, extremely vulnerable. Learn why anal aftercare is just as important as having anal sex.

How Do I Perform Anal Aftercare?

Anal sex aftercare doesn’t need to be overly sentimental or grand — it just needs to be an intentional display of appreciation and responsibility. Whatever you do, follow our aftercare general rule that the higher you fly, the softer you should pad the landing. While gently fingering someone’s ass during sex might require a simple “How’s your tush feeling?”, a long session of anal penetration will likely require much more. Here are our golden rules to anal sex aftercare:

First, check in.

The penetrating partner (sometimes identified as the Top) should recognize that their endorphins and adrenaline are likely to be lower than their partner who just received anal sex (the “receiver” or the Bottom). This means that the receiver may not yet be able to feel if they are sore or mentally present enough to ask directly for what they need as they bask in their after-sex glow.

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Aftercare is most seamless if you’ve talked with your partner before anal sex, about what they typically like to have available after anal sex. If you don’t know your partner’s anal aftercare plan, giving them a hydrating drink (avoid alcohol) and a blood-sugar-raising snack (like a chocolate or fruit) are good choices.

Take care of that tush.

Anal tissues are delicate and it’s normal for them to be a little sore after sex. Gentle baby wipes can easily clean up, while an Epsom salt bath can feel purifying, pampering, and practical for sore muscles.

Praise your partner.

Anal sex can make someone especially vulnerable. So, remind your partner about all the things you liked about having anal sex with them…continue reading…

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b-Vibe: Anal Training 101

My sexpertise for b-Vibe

Yana Tallon-Hicks 

 

As anal sex becomes less taboo, people of all genders and sexualities are taking more of an interest in tantalizing the tushy. But no matter how excited you are about the prospect of entering through the backdoor, take some time and care to find your way into what has notoriously been an exit-only opening. Anal training can help.

What is Anal Training?

Anal training is exactly what it sounds like: taking time, care, and certain steps to help your body acclimate to anal penetration.

Anal training can be done solo or with a partner and can be an incredibly erotic experience. Preparing yourself to stretch your limits can add “oomph” to a playful power dynamic, a dominant/ submission relationship, or even just a Sunday night in the shower.

How Do I Anal Train?

1. First, get your brain on board.

The thought of anal play can be quite scary to people. When it comes to anal training, there is a lot of misinformation, taboo, and stereotypes that can confuse and cause a lot of fear.

The first step of anal training is to be mentally relaxed.

…and what’s the first thing your body (and butt) does when you’re scared? It tightens up. Which is no way to welcome in a penetrative object. Being mentally relaxed, well educated and consensually excited to dive into the deep end is essential.

Rather than aiming to start with penetrative anal sex (meaning penis/ dildo inside the butt), start off with a sexy anal massage. Analingus aka rimming is also a great way of anal training if you’re with a partner.

2. Familiarize yourself with your fanny.

Before partners get involved, try practicing solo anal. Massage the outside of your anus and maybe even dip the tip of your finger in your own bum while you’re alone in the shower.

Learning about the anal anatomy can be a huge benefit prior to performing anal play

Locate the two layers of the anal sphincter muscles (the outer one pushes things out, and the inner one sucks things in) and practice breathing and bearing down on your finger to help the first one relax. Feeling well-versed in your own body will increase your confidence when partnered up.

3. Get wet.

Your anus doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina and the butt’s tissues tend to be less elastic. This makes using lubricant for all kinds of anal play essential. No lube means no fun…continue reading…